Updated: Oct 9, 2020
Not every female I meet will be an ally. Just like when we call in our allies who are well of the womb that may be ancestors, it’s the same application for women outside of the womb. Some we call family, friends, or sisters.
Perhaps some of these women are still hanging around out there somewhere amongst the stars, completely disassociating. Maybe some of these women are disconnected from their physical presence. Grounding into the reality of being on a physical plane, feeling what's inside their bodies, none the less being consciously connected to their womb may be overwhelming.
Others may be connecting to their womb space and right now, it’s not well- but she’s attending and healing. Another option is a female may attempt to invalidate and dominate another female because of a disjointed relationship with her mother or another female in her life. For some, that's the only way they know how to keep themselves feeling safe. Sometimes, it can be all of the above.
Either way, knowing what happened or why does not change the fact right now, she is not well for my womb. Right now, she is not an ally.
I also understand I am not truly an ally for either. In fact, maybe I would exacerbate her symptoms and run unintended interference on her womb connection and healing simply by being me.
This is a two-way relationship. When I feel someone is not an ally to me, then I KNOW, by staying with her, I am not an ally to her either....and that's okay. So, instead, I make a hard decision.
I actively choose to be an ally for her, by loving her from afar and letting her go.
I release her from me and me from her in reverence. As I honor me, I am honoring her with grounding compassion.
Maybe she needs to be away from me so she can bring herself home to her own body. Maybe I need to be away from her to work on what she triggers or reminds me of. Whatever it is, there is a pattern I don’t want to continue or revisit.
If I keep giving her chances, make excuses, and leave opportunities for her to continue to do what she’s doing now, I am not helping her. I am also not helping myself in a healthy way.
Perhaps there will be another day when she and I will reconnect and there will be a recognition of mutual trust and respect. Perhaps not too. No matter what the future holds between the woman and me, I know one thing to be true- I am consciously taking part in loving.
Like countless other women who act in a firm compassionate way (the womb way), we are restoring the collective womb. All of the wombs we know and speak of, the cosmic womb, ancestral womb, Earthly womb is being restored. The brave act of letting go rewrites and rewires stories.
When I think of my relationships with women, I come from the heart of my womb. I think of her womb speaking to mine. I think back and remember all the pains my womb has endured.
All the boundaries I didn’t have and that I didn’t make, all the time I wasn’t given and didn’t take, all the knowledge that got flushed down the toilet every month, it's all there.
Can you relate?
The pledge I made to my blood and my womb, is to meet every woman (including myself) where she is at and take what Sama asked us to do every womb meditation - to call in our well of womb allies to support us. Well, when I interact with people, especially my family and women, and especially in challenging conditions, I check-in and ask these quick questions:
Am I a well of womb ally to myself?
Am I a well of womb ally to this woman (or person)?
Is this person an ally to my womb? If so, how? If not, how?
Can we become that to each other in this setting now or later? If so, how?
When I do this, I can feel my womb’s shedding turn from a plea not to be forgotten and receiving loving attention to a letting go of pains because her ancient present and ancient future’s prayers are being answered.
The way the womb loves is the way to love.
Just like our monthly cycle, we can love, but we can also let go.
Let go of cultural conditioning that says to support another woman you have to put up with her shit. Let go of exhausting relationships that bleed you out or cause your blood to not come at all for it's reserving itself to keep you nourished. Let go of whatever and whoever wounds your womb. Release and replenish regularly.
My womb keeps shedding feminine lessons in the art of letting go to be a well of womb ally to myself and others. I marvel at each one. It's humbling and expanding at the same time.
When your womb sheds, what feminine lessons to being a womb ally to yourself and others come to you?
I'd love to hear about your womb's wise expression.
Thank you Sama for all of your womb work and dedication to create The Womb Apprenticeship Program. I integrate "womb ally/allies" regularly as part of my guide to ethical treatment and loving boundaries in a way I was not conscious of doing before or times I never did it. From my womb heart to yours, I thank you! Also if the questions I ask myself and words typed here are words you say and seep into me, that why I didn't give credit! please let me know. We think and speak similarly (thankfully) lol.
With Great Womb Love,