I was not going to attend the call because I was having a difficult morning and some old recurring relationship patterns came up with my husband, which is not surprising because I began to bleed today. In a nutshell, I have been working on unfolding my soul’s purpose (for many years) and whenever I take steps forward to move myself in that direction, he subconsciously gets worried that I am not going to be here to help him get his needs met and he will do something to sabotage me from being able to focus on my work. It keeps us in a perpetual cycle of arguing, which is very depleting and ungrounding. Instead of supporting me on my path, he feels like more of an obstacle that I have to continuously remove, or go around. So, feeling rather drained and frustrated, I nonetheless decided I was not going to let what happened stop me from keeping my commitment to myself and the group and I came to class anyway. I'm glad I did because it was good for me to feel the support of being in the group and being held in the nurturing, healing energy of the Divine Mother that we all generate when we are together holding space.
Within minutes of dancing, I began to feel lighter and more open. At first I felt the energy moving in my root chakra. My hips and lower back felt very tight but as I moved, I felt the restrictions releasing and my body becoming more and more expansive. As Sama was cuing the dance, and we began to shake loose our old, too tight dragon skins, I felt as though my body had no solid edges and I was merging with the greater cosmic universe, or my soul. As we began calling in supporters and allies, I was shown a beautiful crimson red rose, named Frida Khalo, and guided to drink it in my tea and to infuse it in oil and wear as a layer of protection on my body. Underneath my dragon skin was a beautiful Golden Statue, at first I thought, ”Hey, I won an Oscar!” but then I heard it was the Golden Goddess and she has come to support me on my journey and the unfolding of my soul’s purpose work. Her message to me was that, ”It is in our nature to shine, don't hold back!”. Gold symbolizes spiritual growth and perfection and represents Joy, Light and Expansion, which were all of the things I had been feeling while dancing. She seemed to be telling me that there is no reason to be small, when we are so full of limitless possibilities, we only have to believe in that and take the next step.
It is interesting, but not surprising, that this form of the goddess appeared to me today. Last night I had been preparing for Navratri (celebrating the 9 nights of the Divine Mother) and listening to some chants to Mother Durga, who is the embodiment of all the goddesses, light and dark. I can see that when we call on her in prayer, she appears… After the dance ended, I did some research on the Golden Goddess and found that she is a form of Mother Durga, specifically Parvati , in the form of Gauri. Parvati is the opposite of Mother Kali, the dark goddess of endings and destruction, she is shown with beautiful golden skin (hence the name, the Golden Goddess), radiating with light, joy, new beginnings and opportunities. She is also the goddess of fertility, love, beauty, and happy marriages. And as it turns out, one of Parvati’s specialties is orchestrating harmony and peace in Divine Relationships between husbands and wives, in other words she IS the embodiment of divine energy between men and women. Well, who knew?!! The right Goddess at the right time, as always. I am very grateful to have been able to meet her yesterday and plan on connecting with her more during my Sadhana practice for Navratri in the coming weeks. I have a feeling she will become a very well loved ally of mine.