There is racism inherent in me, a white woman, claiming to have a Black Ancestor/Spirit Guide.
I have been afraid to write about this topic for some time even though it is central to my inner work as well as my work stepping into leadership in the Feminine Health and Spirituality world.
My fear is part of my racism.
The fear holding me back was that perhaps someone would read what I share and judge me to be racist, likely a person of color, and unleash their justified anger, resentment, and frustration upon me.
In grappling with this fear, I have reached out for resources and support and found the book, ‘White Fragility’ by Robin DeAngelo which has begun to open my eyes about the aspects of racism that are secretly hurting us all.
One of the first eye opening moments in that book is the distinction made between the common white person’s definition of racism and the actual reality of racism. Most white people of conscience believe they are not racist because they would not deliberately belittle, discriminate against, or hurt a person of color. But this definition only touches the very tip of the giant iceberg of racism we all suffer from.
A more complete definition of racism includes systematic structures of oppression woven into the very fabric of our society and lives that all white people secretly benefit from every day. All people of color must confront this racist foundation of our world in multitudinous ways on a daily basis. This is very similar to the systematic ways women are oppressed that is so difficult for most men to see.
So when white people like me begin to look under the surface and see the truth of the racism our lives are built upon, it can feel overwhelming. We have not built up the stamina that most people of color have to face the pain of racism every day of our lives. Yet this seems to be what is necessary if we are to heal from that pain collectively and arrive at a true harmony between all people that white people can so often delude ourselves into thinking is already happening.
So I have decided to face my fear of being called racist and accept the fact that it is already true, not in the morally degenerate sense of deliberately harming people of color, but in the deluded sense that simply living my life receiving the benefits I do from the structures of society gives me inherent privileges that people of color struggle to attain and are often denied every day.
I must give credit for my dedication to dispelling these delusions to my Black ancestor/spirit guide, Ruby, who has been guiding me strongly since my early 20s, before I knew anything about spirit guides or ancestors. She is speaking more and more strongly to me as I blossom into my Womb wisdom.
I have been afraid to even share publicly about her presence in my life due to the fears detailed above, (on top of fears about sharing about having a spirit guide in the first place) but she is compelling me to face these ways that racism hurts us all, bringing healing to it in myself and possibly for others. This requires that I be exposed in all the ways that my white privilege might be obvious to others but hidden to me. This requires me to let down my guard and be willing to hear and thank any people of color that might be willing to point it out to me. This also requires me to take responsibility for learning more about this myself from other white folks who are engaged in this healing process so as not to place the entire burden of healing racism on people of color.
As I learn more about how I happen to have such a strong connection with Ruby, I am often overcome with emotion that shakes me to the core. I will be sharing more about the stories of who she is and how she is such a potent influence on me centuries after her human incarnation in later posts. Suffice it to say, her story is one of inner power and strength that exemplifies the Womb Power that I am so often pointing to as possible for all women and work so diligently to dismantle the multitude of barriers that prevent us from fully developing. She is guiding me to develop that power in myself, and healing racism is central to that development.
You see, this Womb Power requires that we become completely and fully responsible for nurturing and maintaining our connections with the sources of power that nurture us. Systematic racism undermines the development of this inner power for white people. We are blinded to the ways that our societal structures siphon power from people of color and deliver it to us. We are blinded to how we participate in this siphoning. Therefore we cannot develop this requisite responsibility for caring for our sources of power. And we cannot claim those sources of power as our own because they are being stolen from other people.
One example of this is living on unceded lands that were stolen from Native American peoples, even claiming ownership of this land, without giving back to those peoples. Under these circumstances, we can never truly connect with the land without somehow addressing the healing that needs to happen around this. Another example of this is benefiting from generational wealth and well being that required and still today requires that others be enslaved and exploited. Until we make reparations for that exploitation, we do not truly own the riches and privileges we enjoy.
Systematic racism and its sources also blind us and keep us disconnected from sources of power that we could actually claim as our own and nurture in such a way that our Womb Power would actually grow. An example of this is cultural and spiritual appropriation. Many white folks with spiritual inclinations end up feeling drawn to traditions that have retained their connection to true sources of spiritual power, ie: Mother Earth, Community, Ancestors, etc. These are often traditions from what is left in tact of Indigenous cultures. But trying to claim connection and sourcing to these powers through the cultural context of Native American and African lineages as a white person is just more of the same siphoning of power. And what this is often covering up is our disconnection from the European Indigenous cultures of our heritage. But in order to truly connect to our actual ancestral heritage, we must face and heal the pain of the persecution, annihilation, and suppression those traditions have undergone for millenia. We must do the work to reclaim and nurture these traditions in order to truly own, instead of steal, these sources of power for ourselves.
For those of us with mixed ancestral heritage, this process becomes complicated even further. I have Choctaw ancestry but was not raised with any connection to this heritage. But I feel it in my blood and feel more connected to Native American spiritual traditions than to many Indigenous European traditions as I live in California and much of Earth based spiritual symbolism is geographically based. But without working significantly to nurture this heritage, I feel I cannot truly own it. I am uncertain how to do that, as I do live in California, and the Choctaw are in the southern states.
And then there is Ruby. My connection to her is through her devotion to heal racism. She was a Royal Priestess in Africa and got herself on a slave ship to the Americas to offer her potent magical love in service to healing this worldwide disease. She breastfed one of my white ancestors and claimed that connection with her Priestess powers in order be able to continue influencing that lineage of white people through the generations even after her death as an ancestor. My connection with her is stronger than with any of my other ancestors through blood. This is deliberate Milk Magic that she conjured in service to healing all of humanity from the disease of racism.
I am in awe of Ruby’s power and grateful to be blessed with her presence in my life. I am also growing more and more aware of the work she is enlisting me in, guiding me to activate my Womb Power to meet the challenges involved. My fears about sharing all of this and how folks might judge me pale next to what she was willing to face to answer this call. I humbly accept her guidance to devote the resources and abilities I have at my disposal in service to healing racism as well.
Sama Morningstar is the founder of the Womb Centered Healing Temple and started this blog as part of this collaborative space for global healing. She is working on a book entitled 'The Bio-Mystical Womb' and is facilitating a 13 Moon Apprenticeship based on the principles and practices she is writing about in the book. Learn more about the Apprenticeship program here: https://www.samamorningstar.com/bio-mystical-womb-healing-apprentic