There is a magnet I have on my fridge that says "Stand your Ground. It's Sacred. " I liked the way the phrase sounds. When I bought it a couple of years back, I knew I was not fully operating in its meaning. Now, is different. For the first time today, I followed a boundary I set for myself. I stood up for myself as a sacred woman. I called a man out for humiliating me and singling me out. I called the woman who was present out too for not advocating for me (because it's the voice of all women no longer competing to be "liked the best." ). Then, gracefully and powerfully left the scene then went to a job interview. I credit to being connected to my womb for this strength and confidence to follow my boundary. I credit the deeper connection to my womb from this apprenticeship. I have mental and emotional wellness that supports the boundaries my womb is calling out. I have effective interpersonal skills to communicate what's been/being discovered as my womb healing continues. I no longer feel guilty fighting for my boundaries, values, and sacred rights- even when I think I might be fighting unfairly. I no longer shut down, shrink and retreat and conform to what others want me to be, say, or think. I don't compromise my core values and I stand out in the spotlight to shine the truth of my light. My womb called out for healing. I took on the responsibility for all that's happened to me to heal it to where the womb health is now.
In fact, not only me but my linage and the collective. I have been doing my part. Now I am fueled even more to keep going. I am tired of women stealing my creations and passing it off as their own, then calling it "inspiration." I am tired of neglecting myself to take care of someone else, especially those who don't respect or appreciate me or give me credit. I am tired of humiliation and being treated differently. Even if someone feels "safe to do that with me because they know I love them unconditionally." No more! My womb says that's playing a sucker and a form of passive self-abuse. It makes her tired and wounded even more. My womb is feeling a fierce fire that has been burning for the past few years, now, she's lit up to define her boundaries. Anyone that crosses them, will get burned. I have to wonder, is this just part of the process? Are all the cognitive training, emotional intelligence work, and psychological education of human behavior and development, trauma abuse, and recovery and experience of working in this field equipping me to support the boundaries my womb is calling out for? Yes. The fact I can clearly see and redefine myself tells me I am not over-reacting to the healthy boundaries my womb is asking for and setting. I was used to putting up with violations and lack of back up actions to my truest thoughts, feelings, and values, that I compromised myself. The result of this, anger from seeing a life I wanted that was unlived. A life that is gone by. However, my life is not yet over, In fact, I feel like I have a last winded attempt to finally be the person I always was underneath, live the life I always wanted to live, and be around the people I've always wanted to be around, simply from following the guidance of my womb and her boundaries. The more healing my womb receives, the more I stand my ground because it's sacred. To me, anywhere I stand is sacred because my womb is there. I will continue to work on boundaries and following through with emotional and mental wellness to back them up. Thank you for this journey Sama and all of the beautiful womb ladies I am meeting along the way.